Advice for successful swinging - The single guy

We all start somewhere, and hopefully each and every experience is fantastic. But some fall apart before getting to the meeting stage.. And still others turn into one night only events..

Each and every site we have ever been on bitches about the single men, and what horror stories are involved

But rather than add to them, maybe its time to write a primer that offers the advice these guys need to avoid being stereotyped.

Lets talk about those stereo types for a few moments. What are they

Single Guys are pushy
Looking for an easy piece of ass
Cant carry on an intelligent conversation without mentioning how large their cock is
And cant carry on a conversation without turning it into cyber sex or phone sex
Or Worse, because a couple is willing to play, it means SHE is looking for someone NEW or to SCREW on the side.

Now, as far as they go, we personally have run into all of them at different times and a few that were multiple offenders.

When we got started we did the MFM 3somes, and enjoyed them for the most part. But we also noticed a trend. As time passed we ran into guys who didn’t have a clue as to what this lifestyle is about.

When a couple invites a third person to join them for intimate fun, it should be treated as both a honor and a gift. Its not like they are calling you in to DO SOMETHING they cant already, rather its to add to what they already have, and are willing to share.

So, here are the best tips we can offer.

1. Be polite, be respectful.. And Do not at any free moment explain the wondrous properties of the MIGHTY MAN MISSLE between your legs.

2. A lot of people have a process they use to decide if you are the person that they are willing to consider. And yes there is usually a question and answer session. Think about this well before hand, come up with answers, DIRECT ANSWERS. Being vague, is almost as bad as being pushy.

3. The unspoken thing- A lot of couples who list themselves on various web sites, will put their sexual preferences as the guy being straight and the woman Bi.. Even though, they MAY BE what we refer to as Bi friendly if not Bi comfortable. Be prepared for your stand on this, and really do not be afraid to ask directly.

4. Yes there are times when talking dirty is appropriate, But remember, just because the lovely female half of the couple is considering taking you to bed, that doesn’t mean they are ready for raunchy talk. Especially when they are gauging your PERSONALLITY, because lets face it, in a 4 or 5 hour event such as a threesome, there are times when despite being naked together, its not JUST sex that’s talked about.

5. The male half of the couple is doing what very few are willing to do, open his mind, and SHARE his loved one with you. Lets be honest, being a asshole to HIM, CAN and usually will, write you off before you even talk to HER.

6. Scheduling is often crucial , Most couples have already busy lives. Between work, family and other commitments, more and more these days, free time is at a premium. This makes making and “appointment” with you is like planning a moon shot. If you get to the point of actually meeting, be on time.

7. Fair is Fair, that having been said, if you went to a party, bar, or where ever, and met a woman.. And things moved fast.. You would WANT to provide a place to get comfortable, and lets face it get naked. Be willing to at least offer to split the cost of a room, of it comes to it. Most will refuse, but by extending the offer, you raise your personal credibility.

And the final tip, lets suppose things have gone great, Orgasms were enjoyed by all.. have the common courtesy to write or call and let them know you had a good time. If they ask about repeats.. Be Honest.. If you enjoyed yourself and want to do it again.. Great.. If you would rather not, be MAN enough to say so.

Hopefully this is received with a Open Mind. All too often, Single guys are treated as both a commodity or a pariah. If more could take the advice offered here, and less use the stereotyped approaches, things might start to turn around.

bravo. well said. Being a single guy I really appriciate that and really despise those who make us good guys look bad.

This is all well and good, but if there isn't a couple willing to even give you a shot then what's the point? I actually do follow every single word fo advice you gave, but I am still treated as a pariah.

Bryan, We realize it is very tough for the "single" guy.. Unfortunately so many single guys are just out for themselves and we couples do tend to consider you "all" as a single group. Not fair and we do realize it. So a few further suggestions;

1 We need to meet and get to know you in a none threatening environment, so show up at clubs and swing events where a few singles are permitted. It will cost you a few extra bucks, but it gets you in the mix.

2 Once in a club do not start stalking every female you see. This is going to take subtlety and a bit of finesse on your part. Talk with the male half, compliment the female half, say hi to everyone and then walk away. That may be as far as you get the first night. Do this regularly, fit in to the crowd, make a few friends, then you get laid...

The point is if we would not invite a stranger to our home, we will absolutely not invite you to our bed. So, make an attempt to get to know couples as people first, remove any feelings of distrust or threat by investing in the arrangement (just as you would any new date) and realize that for most of us, friendship is first then the benefits.

This is of course our opinion, others have and will do differently. But I hope it gives you a different perspective.

@Bryan,

I swing as both a single guy and as part of a couple. I also do one-night-stands with girls outside the lifestyle as well. As someone who has been successful, I can tell you it's possible. However, I'm a reasonably attractive guy with a good body and it can still be a lot of work. It took me about two months on various sites to find a new partner last time. And I was working on it for a couple of hours a night. You have to be persistent and work at it.

Also, there are some things that help your cause:

ONLINE
* Be funny
* Write good messages. They should be a paragraph and should give them something to respond to, like a question. If they have to think about what to right back, they won't do it, so you need to engage them with something actual conversation. If you just answer questions, it's a dead end.
* Be funny
* Use good grammar and spelling
* Be funny
* Write messages that are specific to them. People know when they get a generic message. Mention something in their profile that shows you read it.
* Be fu-- never mind
* Keep in mind that you need to rise above the noise. Stand out. Most guys send incredibly lame messages and then wonder why they don't get any action. This is why humor works, especially when it plays off something they said or posted in their profile.
* Acknowledge the guy include him in your conversation. You're writing to a couple, not a single girl and he has the power to block you. Nothing annoys me faster than someone writing to my wife on our couples profile and not acknowledging me.
* Be fun (Ha, you thought I was going to say be funny, but I didn't). You have to be fun to hang out with. If you're too serious she's not going to think hanging out with you will be fun -- and this is all about fun.
* Stay in shape. Studies show that women seeking sex (vs. a life partner) are more concerned with looks than they would otherwise be. Money and stuff won't impress a girl who just wants sex from you. She doesn't care if you own a $100,000 car or boat. You can't help what you look like, but you can get in shape. It'll help.
* Don't ever let them know you've been looking but unsuccessful. Never post a "OMG, I just want to get laid" ad. No one wants to hookup with someone perceived as undesirable.

At least that's what I see as the basis for my success as a single male.

Good luck!

im ready to swing!!!!!!!!!!!im in las Vegas from los angeles!!!

Bravo... awesome and very perfect post... even though am a single guy I agree with what u said, some guys think if a women or a couple is on adult forum they lack somewhere.. and that these guys are hunks (who actually hav never get laid) and it does offend any1.... the same way they feel when a gay man does the same to them...

One should understand sex is for pleasure and human body is not some piece of meat to satisfy ur hunger.... i would love to meet a swinging couple as a frnd more than one time bang and would give equal respect to the husband to is ready to share... despite the fact that he wont get any new woman for himself which is the general mentality of men to get one in xchange

Bravo... awesome and very perfect post... even though am a single guy I agree with what u said, some guys think if a women or a couple is on adult forum they lack somewhere.. and that these guys are hunks (who actually hav never get laid) and it does offend any1.... the same way they feel when a gay man does the same to them...

One should understand sex is for pleasure and human body is not some piece of meat to satisfy ur hunger.... i would love to meet a swinging couple as a frnd more than one time bang and would give equal respect to the husband to is ready to share... despite the fact that he wont get any new woman for himself which is the general mentality of men to get one in xchange

Bravo... awesome and very perfect post... even though am a single guy I agree with what u said, some guys think if a women or a couple is on adult forum they lack somewhere.. and that these guys are hunks (who actually hav never get laid) and it does offend any1.... the same way they feel when a gay man does the same to them...

One should understand sex is for pleasure and human body is not some piece of meat to satisfy ur hunger.... i would love to meet a swinging couple as a frnd more than one time bang and would give equal respect to the husband to is ready to share... despite the fact that he wont get any new woman for himself which is the general mentality of men to get one in xchange

Bravo... awesome and very perfect post... even though am a single guy I agree with what u said, some guys think if a women or a couple is on adult forum they lack somewhere.. and that these guys are hunks (who actually hav never get laid) and it does offend any1.... the same way they feel when a gay man does the same to them...

One should understand sex is for pleasure and human body is not some piece of meat to satisfy ur hunger.... i would love to meet a swinging couple as a frnd more than one time bang and would give equal respect to the husband to is ready to share... despite the fact that he wont get any new woman for himself which is the general mentality of men to get one in xchange